The Boss
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.
The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and
asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is
the yellow one?''
The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and
asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant
explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows
typewriting and can type really fast.''
''What about the green one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows
typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and
takes notes.''
''What about the red one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''
The man says, ''What does HE do?''
The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two
call him boss.''
Job Application
Two young engineers applied for a single position at
a computer company. They both had the same qualifications.
In order to determine which individual to hire, the
applicants were asked to take a test by the department
manager. Upon completion of the test, both men had each
missed only one of the questions. The manager went to
the first applicant and said, ''Thank you for your interest,
but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant.''
"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine
questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.
"We have based our decision not on the correct
answers, but on the question you missed," said
the department manager. "And just how would one
incorrect answer be better than the other?" the
rejected applicant inquired. ''Simple,'' said the department
manager, ''Your fellow applicant put down on question
#5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'''
And God Created A Sleeping Man
A couple went to church every week, but every week without
fail the husband would fall asleep during the sermon.
The wife, being embarrassed by her husband's loud snoring,
decided to bring a needle to the next service and poke
him when he nodded off. The next week when they were
in church the husband, as always, fell asleep. "Who
created the Earth in 6 days and rested on the 7th?"
The wife stuck her husband with the needle and he jumped
up and exclaimed, "Oh my God!" The preacher
said, "That's correct." And the husband sat
down mumbling to himself. He soon fell asleep again.
The preacher got to the question "Who died on the
cross to save us from eternal damnation?" The wife
stuck her husband again and he jumped up and exclaimed,
"Jesus Christ!" And the preacher said, "Right
again." With this, the husband fell suspicious
of his wife and decided to catch her in the act. The
husband pretended to fall asleep while keeping an eye
on his wife. "What did Mary say to Joseph after
Jesus was born?" the preacher asked. The wife started
to poke her husband again, but before she could the
husband jumped up and exclaimed, "If you stick
that damn thing in me again, I'm going to break it in
half!"
The Wrong Number
Man calls home.The maid answers the phone.Man say:''Can
you put my swimming trunk ,goggles and towel on the
swimming pool's branch? The maid say:''We do not have
a pool. Man ask:''Is this 888-6789?
Meimei opens her mother and father's wedding photo.
She ask:"Mummy,where is this place?Why you didn't
bring me
there?
"The Wrong Number!!"
Man calls home. Maid answers phone.
He says, "Can I speak to my wife?"
She says, "No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend."
He says, "Ok, go to the hall closet and take out
my shotgun.
Go upstairs and kill them both."
Being the loyal maid, she says, "Ok."
5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says, "Ok,
they're both dead. What should I do with the bodies?"
He says, "Throw them in the pool, and I'll take care
of them when I get home."
She says, "We don't
have a pool."
He asks, "Is this 555-1234?"
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